20something Ep.3 (Column)

Written by Alexandria O'Connor 

Seeing someone you used to know is a different feeling. It’s painful, but it’s reassuring at the same time. It’s bittersweet; it’s someone to make you feel okay, but it’s also someone to rip apart your fragile heart before they leave. 

Crazy, isn’t it? How strange is it that we attach ourselves to people we haven’t seen in ages? How strange is it that a memory can pop out of my head and sit in front of me? It’s like a movie playing in my mind when I think about these people, and occasionally, I see them in front of me like the screen split and they waltzed out of my head. 

The issue here is that I get high off of seeing them—like my mind was just begging for their touch—and then, I am ripped apart as that very person I once knew goes back to wherever they’re at now. Whether they moved; they just left, or they even live down the hall; it’s when I am no longer needed that hurts the most.

It is really crazy how a phone call can make them crawl up and down your skin again, with goosebumps and butterflies, and anxiety. Then you’re lost again. You’re lost inside of your own head, inside of your own mind; trying to figure out what exactly it is about a person that can make you feel this way? What is it about you that has me up past my bedtime, writing this, wishing for you to walk in? What about you had me at a bar on a weeknight, spending money I don’t have? What about this carousel of feelings makes me feel like you and only you could kill and resurrect these feelings in my chest over and over again? And, what exactly is it that has me so attached to you? 

What is it that makes us so attached to people?

Or, is it just me? And that is sooooo scorpio of me?

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